Hypochondria

I haven't had any self-abasing confessions here in awhile, so here we go.  I am a hypochondriac (or is it an hypochondriac? those words starting with h always throw me).  Anyway, back to my hypochondria.  I've been like this all my life.  When I was young, I didn't think I would live to see adulthood.  When I had a bump on my shin, I was sure it was cancer (it's always cancer - maybe I'm just cancer-phobic).  Of course, it wasn't and the bump went away and I reached my 18th birthday just fine.  When I was in college I developed a strange tremor in my hands.  Well, certainly that must be a brain tumor or maybe MS.  I guessed I would never get married and have kids.  Surely I had one foot in the grave already.  After many tests and CT scans nothing was found and eventually the tremor went away (although I still get it sometimes).

The list goes on and on, frequently, I'm on the verge of dying from cancer or occasionally a heart problem.  Thankfully, I don't usually share my grave concerns with anyone.  Can you imagine how depressing this blog would be if I did?  Why do I share this now?  Because I've had this sore in my mouth for over three weeks and you all know what that is?  That's right, mouth cancer!  I can joke about it now, because it is healing up, but for about a week I was convinced that I wold never see my kids grow up and get married, etc.  Actually, I don't really fear death, but I really don't want my kids to not have a mommy around.

After pondering this for a while, I've determined that there is an upside to hypochondria.  You see we are all dying (some just quicker than others) and I think it is good to ponder our own mortality periodically.  It makes one think about how you are living today and anything you should change.  It also makes you ponder what you believe comes after this life.  For me, I know there is a glorious heaven waiting and an awesome, incredible loving God waiting there, as well.  It really is something I look forward to (preferably once my kids are grown :)  )

7 comments:

  1. Barb,I never knew this of you.I'm glad your sore is getting better!

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  2. Oh, I am SUCH a hypochondriac, too! I have been convinced that I have cancer, muscular dystrophy, heart disease, a brain tumor...you name it. But, here I am!
    I like your take on it -- on how we hypochondriacs thing of our mortality more often. I will remind my husband of this the next time he rolls his eyes at my paranoia! :)

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  3. I am your mother and I never realized that you were a hypochondriac. Learn something every day. Love, Mom

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  4. I am the EXACT SAME WAY!!! Too funny! Well, not the dying part, but I couldnt believe that someone actually had the guts to say it out loud (in writing!). My husband laughs at me all the time, because I will share with him, some kind of "ailment" and he will say "I suppose you have cancer". And really, it's not funny at all for those who actually DO have cancer - but it's how I think!
    Thanks for sharing - I know I am not alone now!

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  5. Well now, this is very interesting. Who knew there were so many hypochondriacs out there. I feel better already. LOL!

    Maybe I just attract hypochondriacs to my blog. Now there's an interesting thought!

    You all are great. Where else could I confess my weirdness and get such support. I am only partially kidding when I tell my dear hubby that blogging is cheaper than therapy.

    Love you all! Oh and by the way, Mom, did you really think you knew everything about me???


    Barb (who is not suffering from any life threatening disease at the moment)

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  6. Yesterday, out of the blue Beth said, "Mom, why do you have that big bruise on your calf?" I looked and, sure enough, right on the back of my right calf was a huge (4 inches long and 1 inch wide) bruise. I couldn't remember doing anything to cause such an injury.

    Then, later in the evening, I got the slightest twinge of pain in that leg. Obviously, a life threatening clot soon to move to my lungs. I uncrossed my legs immediately. Then, I had Terry take a look at it.

    He said there was a scratch all the way up the bruise and obviously I had bumped it against something. I don't think so, but it appears that the "clot" is not worsening, so I think I'll be okay.

    Just wanted you to know.

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  7. Oh, sure, Linda! Now I can be a hypochondriac on your behalf as well!!

    Barb

    PS Hope your bruise goes away soon :)

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