Everyday, When Chris comes home from work, he asks me how my day was or if I had a good day. In the past, I would answer that question based on how the kids' behavior was that day. If there were lots of issues or problems that would be a bad day, if the kids were overall well-behaved that would be a good day.
I've stopped doing that lately. I've come to the realization that I can't control the kids' choices and therefore, in my old system, I had no control over what kind of day I had. This is not good! So, I have learned that how my day goes needs to be determined by me - did I make good choices, did I have a good attitude, etc.
This has resulted in a LOT more good days for me :-) So now, when Chris comes home and asks, "How was your day?" I will frequently answer, "I had a good day, but ________(insert child's name here) had a bad/hard day."
Oh, how wonderful it is to not be under the dictates of other people's choices!
I've also learned that "good day" does not necessarily mean "easy day." Some good days are hard fought on my end - choosing to make the right decision with my own responses in the face of my kids' sin and disobedience is sometimes a very difficult decision (but not impossible, mind you). On those days, my response to Chris might be, "I had a good day, but it was a hard day."
There you have it! I'm off to have a good day now, and I hope you will too!
Wow. You just totally gave me a new outlook. I do the same thing. Allow my kids behavior, or my experiences with others, dictate how MY day goes. What said makes so much sense. However, I feel it is a tough idea to actually impliment. It requires a change of thinking. Not always easy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this though. It's something I really needed to hear right now.
What a great perspective! I have done the same as you; if all went well and the kids were obedient--GOOD DAY!, if not--bad day!!! I need to change my thinking. Thanks, Barb!
ReplyDeleteBarb, I have learned that is so true. When my kids, yes my adult kids, roll their eyes at me, I decide how I am going to react. I have learned that the calmer I am responding to such behavior, the quicker they are to realize I may be right! And they are quick to apologize!
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