Heritage

I've been thinking some lately about heritage.  Not a topic that most people give a lot of thought to, but when you adopt transracially/transculturally you do think about it.  

There was a discussion on an adoption forum I frequent about "how important is it to incorporate our children's birth culture into their lives".  Some people are of the opinion that it is of the utmost importance while others think that it has no significance.  Personally, I fall somewhere in between those two philosophies.

An interesting thing happened while we were in Texas.  Actually lots of interesting things happened, but for today's post we'll focus on this one.  The twins found out that they are part Irish.  Now this might not seem particularly earth shattering to you, but to them it was a big deal.  I am sure when St. Patrick's Day rolls around it will be an even bigger deal.  When they hear about Irish events or Irish history they will have a certain resonance with that.  The information they received will change the way they think of themselves and may change the things they do (like celebrate St. Patrick's Day) in the future.  The fact that they were born in Texas was already a BIG deal to them (like Texas is a completely different culture from Minnesota, isn't it?).  Although they are Mexican and African American those things are not priorities in their lives at this time.

Let's look at Nina now.  She goes through phases of telling people about her heritage as well.  She is very proud to be Native American and African American.  She is also proud that she is (distantly) related to Abraham Lincoln and that her ancestors came over on the Mayflower.  She is Puerto Rican as well, but that doesn't resonate with her at this age.  Now, if she and I take a little vacation to Puerto Rico, she might be more interested in that part of her heritage (I'm liking this heritage thing more and more!)

Even Marcus thinks about his heritage at just four years old.  He says, oozing over with pride, "I'm Ethiopian and so is Zoe!"  

So, we do things as a family to reinforce the heritage of each of our children.  We incorporate food, art work, books, stories, etc. from each of their cultures and heritages, but, by default, they will be brought up in a home that is predominantly Eastern European.  Personally, I don't think that is a bad thing.  It will be part of who they are and who they become.  Marcus & Zoe will always be Ethiopian, but they will also be American and they will eat polska kielbasa (hey, I'm Polish!).   They will learn about being Swedish and German and Polish and we may even include a little about being Dutch and Swiss and French.

They will also eat Thai food even though no one in this house is Thai.  It's just something that Mom & Dad like, so it becomes something of who we are.  They will grow up hearing bagpipe music even though most of us aren't Scottish (excepting Raelea).  

There are many things that go into who we are.  Some of them are what we are born into.  Some of them are affected by where we grow up.  Some of them are things that we choose to associate with ourselves.

For me, for us as a family, the most important bedrock of WHO we are is our faith.  I want my children to get their IDENTITY from Christ.  I want His opinion of them to be of the utmost importance.  I want His plan for them from eternity past to be their grounding in this life.  I want them to identify themselves first and foremost as followers of Jesus and all the other things that make up who they are will become less important (not unimportant, just less important).  In my opinion, it is crucial for everyone, but especially adopted kids, to understand that their life was not set on its course by some person's choice or, even worse, by some random events.

"For you formed my inward parts;  you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.   My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." Psalm 139: 13-16

I guess I kind of look at it like this - Our identity in Christ is the outline of who we are like in a coloring book.  Picture the lines of an uncolored coloring book.  You can see what the picture is before you color it.  The picture has shape and form all the important identifying things are there.  The rest of the things that influence our lives (our culture, our heritage, our personal life story) those things color in the outline.  They don't change the shape of the form, they don't make up the most important parts of us, but they do make us who we are as well.

Okay, it's eleven o'clock and if I don't end this now it's going to start getting really weird because I get very strange  late in the evening (just ask my sister, Deb).  I  hope you have enjoyed this essay which has interrupted my usually very shallow blog :)  Good night!